I tend to be a yeller when I get stressed. I hate it. But it's my reality and something I'm working on with God's help. The holiday season certainly doesn't cure this nasty habit, which is funny to me. Shouldn't I be overcome with joy and family happiness? Cozy homes, christmas lights, pecan pie, fires, healthy children, and a loving husband. There's a lot of goodness this time of the year, yet none of it has the power to keep me from yelling.
And honestly, it's not the yelling that makes me sad. I mean it is, but it's what it does to my children, what it does to the atmosphere in our home that I hate. Especially during a joyful time of the year like the holidays.
But this year, thanks to Jami, I entered into Thanksgiving with a different perspective and it supernaturally altered my reactions. Like when we ran late to every family gathering, or Avery hit another small (or big) child. I was ok. I didn't need a perfect scenario to keep me happy (keep me from yelling), because I already had my reward. I just needed to remember it and not redefine reward to mean a flawless family event.
Amazingly, I don't think I yelled once. Though, if I had (or I'm forgetting when I did) I'm free to apologize to my family and move on. The gospel grants me that. It doesn't leave me to feel like a failure; it tells me I'm incapable of perfection, so let me help.