I'm learning what it's like to fall on my face every day. Frustrated. Why can't I get this right? Will I ever not feel this overwhelmed? Yet one moment of belief in God's promises, or the stirring of the Spirit, and my soul is refreshed. Truly refreshed. And my tone softens and thankfulness floods my heart. How do you do that, God?
That it's ok to mourn the loss of unmet plans and expectations.
I'm learning that the Lord's poking and prodding is a gift even though it's painful.
I'm gaining a new reality. Literally. God has been unrelenting in his pursuit to give me new eyes.
I'm learning that being comfortable may always be something I pursue. Because I really, really really like to be comfortable. But true comfort only comes from the presence of my maker.
I'm learning that all hardship points me to my destiny; a land where justice reigns, peace is always before me, and Jesus is my prize.
That most people will not pat me on the back or encourage my way of living/parenting. It is foolish to them and a waste of time. And that's ok. Because I can't make them see what I see. Only the Lord can do that.
That I must fill my head with things of the Lord. I'm too weak to go a day without it.
Which is why, for this season of life where 30 minutes to read and journal is difficult, I've turned to online sermons and classes. I'm loving this series from Matt Chandler and this parenting class from the Wilkins.
I'm learning that God wants me to be a good parent more than I want to be a good parent. He is for me. And he will sustain me.